A new chapter..

Grade 10 was my favourite year of high school. I felt like I was fitting in at school, I had friends, I was working out issues that I had with my dad. I was opening up to people about my home life more and I liked it. Opening up still scared the crap out of me but I felt like I was better understood by others with the explanations. I absolutely loved my English/Social teacher because he knew that I was a dedicated student so I wouldn't have to do complete study guides or summaries. He was easy-going and encouraged me with my poetry writing. I did all of my assignments with enthusiasm and felt like everything was easy to do. My dad still tried come visit occasionally but I avoided him. His visits resulted in an argument between my mom and I. He had come to the house without her permission and she had come home from to overhear him calling her a witch to my brother. That was the last straw for her. The next day she was talking about it and I tried to defend my dad and say that he was right based on the things he said. She was hurt by this and didn't know how to respond. I had never confronted her like that before. She asked if I needed/wanted to talk to a counselor and I said no. I was absolutely stunned at what had unfolded. She called the school to say I would not be coming that day because I told her I couldn't go. I walked to the church but the youth pastor wasn't there yet. So I went to my friend's house because I remember her mom saying that she would be home that day. I will call her Mom #2 because well, that's what she calls herself to me. A week previous to this explosion at my mom, I had sat down and told Mom #2 everything about my family life because I just felt like I needed another adult whom I trusted to know. She was amazed since I was her daughter's friend and I hadn't mentioned anything previously. Anyways back to that day. Mom #2 opened the door and I just hugged her and cried on her shoulder. We stood in the open doorway in October for a good 5 minutes before I calmed down a bit and stepped inside. She got a box of Kleenex for me and we sat on the couch cuddling as I told her the whole story. I was so sad for hurting my mom like that since she was the parent I was living with and because I didn't think she was as terrible as my dad made her out to be. I was exhausted... I napped and ran errands with Mom #2 that day. I was a very mopey looking zombie. We went to the pastor and talked to him, I cried some more. After school, we went and got my homework and all the teachers knew something was wrong but they didn't want to ask too many questions. I remember my science teacher asking why I didn't finish the assignment that was due and I said I couldn't do it and he asked why not. I gave him such a death glare that he snapped his jaw shut and gave me the other hand-outs and said I could hand it in the next day. I went home and got some clothes and stayed the night at Mom #2's house. I felt like I couldn't be at home. I was too ashamed.